Who doesn’t love a good cringe-worthy voicemail? Back when I was a newspaper girl, I used to save the voice recordings from all the crazies — felons calling collect from San Quentin, angry old women who couldn’t find the crossword puzzle, lunatics who were convinced that a flying saucer was circling Applebee’s right that very minute.
I also have a personal collection of voicemails on my mobile phone, calls I listen to every once in a while for a jolt of nostalgia. The sleepy message from my husband after he had just woken up and was missing me. The sheepish message from my husband after he had acted dumb. Messages from my mom, mother-in-law, grandfather, nephew, all sounding happy and anxious to talk to me.
But never have I received a voicemail as outstanding as this one. The honesty, the pathos … it tears at my heart and makes me yearn for a brighter day, when when men won’t be afraid to tell women “how it’s gonna work” and which psychiatric drugs are dealbreakers, even before the first date.
I really, really hope she called him back because, like he says, he is one of the few men in the city who has nothing wrong with him. Let the romance begin!